I hate unappreciative ass people.

If I'm constantly going out of my way for someone, doing them favors and shit that I don't even need to be doing - then I wanna be recognized! I don't just want some pat-on-the-back "thanks buddy" type shit. But it is what it is, I guess. Some people are only cool with you when they need something. Oh and I'm doing great, not that you asked or anything.

A N Y W A Y S.

I've had my car since March 27th. I love it so much! I finally got the standard I've always wanted :) I've run into some problems with it though. I've been driving so much, ya know - doing favors for someone - so my right tires are making a weird noise. I need to have that checked out, just havent had the time. Also, a few weeks ago, I was coming out of my friends driveway (which is really high and my car is lowered) and I hit my lower front bumper on pavement :( I felt like crying, deadass. I can fix that myself, I just need to get some color-match paint from Honda, and I haven't had the time to do that. And then just this past week, I unlocked my car and noticed someone hit me! It was a hit and run! This time, I didn't feel like crying, I felt like KILLING someone, lol. They hit my rear driver's side. And I know it was a white car because they left paint on my tire/wheel. There were a bunch of scratches, but I got most of them off myself. I still need to go through insurance, though - because there are dents and some scratches I couldn't get off myself. My premium is gonna be through the roof :( More than it already is, that is.

I got a speeding ticket last week for $185.... Ugh, I need to stop speeding! Well, nevermind. Anyways, I'm taking that one to court. I got it in Maine, so driving three hours just to speak to a judge for five minute is gonna suck, but whatever. I don't think I should have to pay for this one. I was going 80 in a 65, but it was late and night and I was tired - and there were no other cars on the highway at all. It was on I-95. Stupid state troopers :(

Battle wounds.

I've been left with them - and as much as I try to pretend that it never happened and that I never got hurt, the scars are there. And I guess I'm afraid to give myself 100% to anybody else for this reason..... I'm afraid of being taken for granted, being cheated on, being lied to, etc. And although he promises he won't hurt me, the LAST one promised the same - & look what happened. I know it's unfair to compare the two, but after what I went through, I just can't help it. I wish I could get past this, it seems so silly. But then it all comes back to the MISERY I went through for six whole days.... And it just makes me wonder if its worth it. I seem to have found an amazing person, and now that I'm older, I should be able to go into this with a clear head, a clear heart, ready for whatever comes my way. And I want that, I swear I do - I want to make it to the TOP with him..... But am I wrong to be afraid?