Monday, April 20, 2009

Dead end?

I really don't have the time to ride an emotional roller coaster. Lately things have been more stressful than good. I feel like I'm forcing something that isn't there anymore. I'unno.

I'm just so fed up with the way things are going. It's hard to fight back the tears, knowing this is the end & stuff, it makes me sad - but I'm not gonna cry. I'm better than that. it's hard though. I'm constantly telling myself to breathe, and taking long showers and naps - and going shopping just to have something else to think about.

There are millions of fish in the sea. Wasn't the first, won't be the last. Blah blah blah, I keep telling myself all that good inspirational uplifting crap.

Seriously though, I'm so young. I have SO many things ahead of me. I went into this with a clear head, and I told myself that forever is nonexistent. And it is - no matter how wonderful things may seem, there will eventually be a bump in the road - some bumps will be overcome smoothly, but others won't. I guess the saying goes . . " wasn't meant to be, it just happened. "

I don't regret anything. and if I could go back - I wouldn't erase one bit. Mistakes were made from both sides, and there's really nothing that triggered this. things just happen, I guess. people just change.


audrey. said...

i think you are talking about a breakup.

things will be okay mama.
you learn from everything.

absolutely everything that you go through does make you stronger.

it's nice that you are, or seems that, you are understanding to the whole "forever" thing.

you are amazing and beautiful, and you will find happiness.

StarzGazR said...

I'm really glad that you are going about this in such a mature way- i give you MUCH props for that!!!

You are seriously amazing!!

Keep you head up mama

aye!Deez . said...

like you said ; you guys will have bumps ... but i think you guys will be okay .

from the look of you blog hes not going anywhere lol .