Are you in love, or were you in love?

I ask myself this question a few times a day. As of a few months back, things between the Mr. and I have not been too great. No fights/arguments or anything of the sort, we've just been reaaaaally distant. Before this came on, I'd want to spend every free moment w/ him... And now I really make no effort to see him. I'm not sure what's going on - maybe I'm falling out of love. Is that possible? I was looking at previous posts, where I would talk about how much I loved him and blah blah blah.... I think I forgot how that used to feel because I don't think I feel it anymore. All the butterflies that came when I would look at him, I don't feel/see that anymore either. I'm wondering if maybe it's time to retire December 18 2007.....

I gotta go to work, holla.

Lies only lead to more lies.

I really wanted things to be cool between us. Ya know, as friends or whatever . . . . But that can only be if we're real with each other.

I met a blind kid today . . .

He is 18 years old and he's been blind since he was born. He was very sweet and polite, and he had a nice smile. I talked to him for a lil' bit, and eventually he came around to tell me that he hears people say the sky is blue, and he knows for a fact the sky is blue - but he wishes just once he could see it for himself. He told me that he wishes he could see flowers and grass - and what his mom looks like.

I felt bad for him, because I cannot imagine what it must be like to see the whole world in black. What it must be to hear the waves and not see the ocean, or hear the rain and not see the drops on the window.

I take too many "simple" things for granted, and my encounter with this kid today was kind of a slap in the face.

How can people be so fake?

First of all, men are stupid. This one nigga acts like he doesn't even know me - and then he decides to do some trippy shit and smile at me and say hi. Get the fuck outta here. Stop playing with my emotions!

And then I'm so sick of fake bitches, how the fuck can you be my friend one minute, and then turn around and talk shit behind my back? Seriously, what is this, high school? You too, get the fuck outta here.

Whatever, I'm off to work. Holla.

8:04

It's 8:04 in the morning, which means I only slept for 4 hours. And that's not normal considering how damn tired I was yesterday. Have you ever had a gut feeling that something was wrong? Well that's what I'm getting at right now.